Infant Loss Therapist | Alma de Madre

The nursery is still there. Your body still remembers. Milk may have come in for a baby who is not here. People said something kind at first, and now they have gone quiet, as if you should be moving on. But you are still waking up every morning and remembering all over again. There is no right way to survive this, and you do not have to do it alone.

In case you are new here, I am Karla Hernández, founder of Alma de Madre and a therapist for new moms, including mothers whose babies are no longer in their arms. If you are looking for an infant loss therapist, you are in the right place. Below we will gently explore how this grief shows up, what can help, and how support can make the weight a little more bearable.

Infant loss refers to the death of a baby through stillbirth, shortly after birth, or within the first year of life. It is one of the most painful experiences a parent can face, and it often comes with a kind of grief that the people around you do not know how to hold. If your loss happened earlier in pregnancy, you may find our pregnancy loss therapy page helpful as well.

This grief matters because it touches every part of your life. Your body may still be recovering from birth while your heart is breaking. Sleep, appetite, work, and relationships can all feel impossible. Many mothers also carry guilt, anger, or fear about future pregnancies. Working with an infant loss therapist gives you a place where your baby is remembered, your love is honored, and your grief does not have to be tidy.

Grief after infant loss is not a straight line. Mothers often experience:

• Waves of intense sorrow: Grief arrives without warning, in the grocery store, in the shower, or at 3 AM, and it can take your breath away.
• A body that remembers: Postpartum changes, milk, and physical recovery remind you of your baby every day.
• Guilt and replaying: You go over every moment, wondering what you could have done differently, even when nothing would have changed the outcome.
• Feeling far away from others: You pull back from friends with babies or feel invisible in conversations where no one says your baby's name.
• Anger: You feel anger at your body, at doctors, at God, or at people who seem to have what you lost.
• Fear about the future: The thought of another pregnancy feels terrifying, or you feel pressure to try again before you are ready.
• Numbness: Some days you feel nothing at all and worry that means something is wrong with you.

• Does it feel impossible to get through ordinary days? Grief is supposed to hurt, but when you cannot eat, sleep, or function for a long time, extra support can help.
• Do I feel like no one understands or wants to talk about my baby? Isolation is one of the heaviest parts of infant loss. You deserve a space where your baby is spoken about.
• Am I carrying guilt I cannot put down? Self blame is common after loss, and it often needs gentle care to soften.
• Are memories of the birth or hospital replaying in my mind? Flashbacks or avoidance can be signs of trauma alongside grief.
• Have I lost hope that life can feel livable again? If you are having thoughts of not wanting to be here, please reach out for support right away.

Who this support is for

This support may be a strong fit if you:

• Have experienced a stillbirth or the death of your baby
• Feel alone in your grief or pressured to move on
• Are struggling with guilt, anger, or trauma connected to your loss
• Are thinking about or already in a pregnancy after loss
• Prefer support in English or Spanish

This approach may not be the best fit if you:

• Are in immediate danger or having thoughts of ending your life, in which case please call or text 988 or go to the nearest emergency room first
• Are looking for a peer support group only, though I am happy to share group resources too

As an infant loss therapist, my approach is trauma informed, person centered, and unhurried. I do not believe grief is something to fix or finish. I believe it is love with nowhere to go, and it deserves room to be felt. You set the pace. There is no timeline, and there are no stages you have to get through in order.

In sessions we make space to talk about your baby, your story, and how life feels now. I use mindfulness and grounding to help you through the moments when grief floods in, somatic techniques to support a body that has been through birth and loss, and gentle tools for handling triggers, holidays, and anniversaries. When the birth or hospital experience feels traumatic, EMDR can help those memories feel less sharp. We can also explore rituals and ways to honor your baby that feel meaningful to you and your culture.

Healing does not mean forgetting. Many mothers first notice they can breathe through a wave of grief instead of being knocked down by it. Over time the loss becomes something you carry with more tenderness and less terror, and you begin to imagine a future that still includes your baby's memory.

What working together looks like

Our first session is simply a place to begin. You can tell me about your baby, or you can sit with me and not say much at all. I will ask gentle questions about what has been hardest and what you need right now. Sessions are virtual and 50 minutes, usually weekly at first, so you do not have to drive anywhere or sit in a waiting room. You can join from your bed or a quiet corner of your home. We move only as fast as you can.

Steps to work with me

Step 1: Reach out

Book a consultation or send a message through the site. You do not have to explain everything right away.

Step 2: Find a time that works

We will have a short, gentle conversation and choose a time that feels manageable for you.

Step 3: Begin your first session

Your first session is about meeting you where you are and deciding together what support will look like.

Our work together may include:

• Telling your baby's story: Having a safe place to talk about your baby and be heard.
• Softening guilt: Gently examining self blame and finding more compassion for yourself.
• Processing the birth and hospital experience: Working through traumatic memories so they feel less overwhelming.
• Navigating relationships: Handling partners who grieve differently and friends who do not know what to say.
• Getting through hard dates: Preparing for due dates, birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries.
• Pregnancy after loss: Holding fear and hope at the same time if and when you decide to try again.

• Let grief come in waves. When one arrives, place a hand on your heart and breathe slowly until it passes. You do not have to push it away.
• Say your baby's name, and invite others to say it too. Many mothers find comfort in hearing their child acknowledged.
• Give people a simple job. Meals, errands, or sitting with you are concrete ways they can help.
• Care for your body gently. Your body went through birth. Rest, water, and food still matter, even when you have no appetite.
• Find parents who understand. Postpartum Support International and Star Legacy Foundation offer support for families after stillbirth and infant loss.
• If you ever have thoughts of harming yourself, call or text 988 any time, day or night.